144

The barre

Life becomes a bit sweeter,

movements are pure pleasure,

my body language turns tender,

I relax all of my muscles.

Suddenly relevés provoke tension,

since the posture ought to be maintained,

and just towards the end

keep pressing, pushing is a clear notion.

143

Making of

When all isolated words

are translated, thus transformed

into stunningly beautiful known words,

enchantresses feel jealous.

Even when it is a downward spiral

of both thoughts and emotions,

each part of speech surrenders,

it crumbles to the romantic notion

of anonymously written poems.

142

The reader

Tell me you also feel the same,

that you wish to fuck my lines,

for this pressure I cannot take any longer.

Undress my soul with your words,

 go deeper, where you've never dared.

Don't you be afraid to dig out

am I not just saying so;

I will give you the info you want

but only after letting me know.

Your shyness makes me play,

eat your verses out every day.

141

Twenty-six

Once more round the sun,

twenty six years old so far...

to be honest, have I grown up?

As I am still unruly, still childlike.

Hey, wait a second...

I have pulled off the trigger

is that so wrong?

I still gather material, reckon.

My rhymes get sloppy,

but I still play with their etheral beauty.

I grow highly intense portraits,

I grive, suffer through laments.

140

Invisibility

Drifting into this vast space

hardly can I spot your face,

truly it has been kind of weird,

a strange situation since last year.

All that happened seems so far,

so so far since our last goodbye,

yet when I intend to go on

I tend to bump into the stone.

But now there lies a big difference

nothing comes to settle down,

I stop for a minute and smile;

I wish to move on, it's been enough.

I am so glad this has stopped,

yet where's your aura now?

Is your body having fun,

composing a lot, doing your stuff?

139

Sunday

Sunday afternoons -

they often drive me

to acknoledge existence, to admire feelings,

to connect with myself,

to correct mistakes,

and never again commit them.

I said "often", not "usually",

so don't you worry -

for am I still faulty

and umpolished figures

seem to be the specialty;

those are the herbs and spices

I concentrate on.

137

Cheater

Fearless, thoughtless contributions

presented and expressed

as thoughts and opinions

to be publicly available,

for everyone accesible-

The problem with this

apparently seems to be

the fact of your believing it,

the fact of your believing me -

please, just don't.

I'll tell you a little secret,

I constantly cheat,

I helplessly lie

I know it won't make you smile,

I do what I say, say what i feel like.

134

Appreciation

The only appreciated,

acceptable human being

I could possible be

is that kind

who allows herself to live,

who is always thirsty

of meaningful experiences

carefully treasuring;

the one who, last but not least,

allows herself to set free

no matter whatever

may come out of it.

133

Uncertainty

Something must be going on,

I'm just uncertain, though

about admitting this or not;

how about letting it flow?

I'm mad about you.

I can't believe it,

that I've waited for so long

to find the precise words

to describe how I feel

every time I catch a glimpse

of your post metal style

glancing at everything...

everything but me.

132

"Me"

I'm not quite sure

who that person is

that person I usually call "me".

Nontheless, I'm fond of me's ideas.

I guess I mean

when they finally come out

as twisted, yet priceless.

131

Greyish

Days pass like a disgrace,

every depiction of life looks grey,

and flowers have no smell

unless you are out there.

I urgently ask for your presence,

nothing here looks the same,

I think about you night and day -

your poems are like fresh air.

130

A new adventure

° Unforeseen circumstances

they weaken its soft soul

all that shine erodes beneath it

until it trespasses its soul. °

|

|

A chaotic creature,

it is brand new to me,

into its sea I venture

I look for its hopes and fears.

It's highly ambitious

hardly ever can it be stopped;

nothing could be undone

unless it feels totally lost.

However, perfect synchronisation

is not such a huge target,

but we perform it like professionals,

even with that "A" in scarlet.

129

Disqualified

Anxiety is knocking at my door,

I'm so so dubious

about answering or not.

Perhaps I guess I should,

and let it happen, you know...

or perhaps should I sit down.

If only would I chill out

and to this would I get back,

because of this I already feel disqualified

to fully this hard task accomplish.

128

Time

Life becomes somehow miserable;

years, they seem eternally long;

months, just utterly exhausting;

weeks, they're everything but lovable;

days, constantly pushing your spirit;

hours, rebellious girls against pleasure.

Minutes, they declare war on happiness;

seconds, they're covered with orders

and heavy duties,

and nonsensical commands,

precise events and spontaneous moments

thirsty for the ultimate desire

of telling us how to live.

Completely alienated,

totally distracted from what's real,

which is our true feeling,

which is our significant others,

which is our relationships,

the ways with people we connect.

126

Writer's block #3

Indeed have I come back.

However, it appears to be today

when the only sounds I'm uttering

are in order for you to understand

I'm not actually on my way,

and it's likely I never will.

I just can't stop feeling

I'm done with all this...

...all this poem writing thing.

125

Writer's block #2

It was yesterday

the world poetry day,

but I just couldn't,

couldn't come up with an idea

once again, like a beginner.

It is as if the whole magic,

all the great thoughts

once and only released for a purpose

that of creating, that of writing

my first prose notebook.

Therefore, I'm terribly sorry

there's nothing I wish to write.

I know should I neither worry

nor even should I apologise

for this part of my life cycle.

Soon, perhaps in the long run

I probably might be able

to make a careful observation,

for deep instrospection to happen;

yet I'm not in the mood for that.

124

Equinox

° Every melody sounds like you,

every word is devoted to you,

maybe should I go for a vermouth

as directly with you

we talk this through. °

|

|

How should I stop addressing words,

which parts of speech should I employ

in order to let you know

that you're somehow awesome,

that I'm looking forward to our meeting,

that my mate is getting cold

here, waiting for you to come?

Become my real equinox,

prove to be the turning point

in favour of lasting change,

in favour of the real thing

between two extraordinary people,

people like you and I,

and the world spinning us.

123

Sisterhod

Many's been the times

I remember having told you

to simply shut up,

to close that damned door

and never coming back.

I was such a violent, egocentric,

nasty human being

I'm not surprised to see

you've got someone else

other than the old same me.

I'm so sick and tired

of hearing rumours around her

of the silly comments

about the newly formed couple

you're now part of.

Nonetheless, I'm not getting in that game

in spite of everything it is said,

as there's nothing greater

than sisterhood, than fellowship

between two women.

122

Thoughts

My shoes are well aware,
they know where I've been.
Of my struggle they're conscious,
they'll never let me lie
about me having a clear notion
of travelling through space and time.

Countless hours of deep thoughts
my brain wouldn't for a minute stop,
and neither my feet would.
Wondering around the globe,
eagerly awaiting to let me know,
what in my life will be going on.

121

Poetry

Today these weak lines
are being plainly written
for you to go back to your field,
to return to that holy paradise
you've always belonged to.

I definitely find you amusing,
here every word you combine
is a pleasure for my darkened heart,
immense satisfaction with them
I actually seem to find.

Never cease to amaze me,
down on my knees I am begging,
sorely do I need your poems
like humans need water
after running ten kilometres.

120

Sparkle

° The Sun shines bright,

before my eyelids you sparkle°

Then, how come

your incapability

to connect

to play

to stay

with me tonight

is still a reality?

The eye witness

is the sky,

it is watching you.

Stop playing around,
and look at me
straight in the eye.

Please come,
make up your mind,
and give us this time
a second chance.

119

Extrasensorial

The way you make me feel,

how you catch a deep breath,

and make every fucking moment ideal;

as though existence has a put up a sign

which says it is closed for holidays.

The extrasensorial experience

of touching your artificial heart

might now stand for as

what I've always wanted in a man,

what still keeps me up to

so enchanted, so curious.

118

Flow

Sometimes you flow,

sometimes you don't -

not anymore.

You see,

life isn't all about sorrow,

or how things used to be.

It's about realising

when it's time to leave,

and the unmeasurable relief

after the so expected breakup

with yourself and others.

117

Rhymes

Rhymes get difficult,

rhymes get tricky,

especially for us,

who constantly juggle

between leisure and duties.

The attempt is to survive

to make it to the night.

But it seems much easier if,

as landing on your bed,

you write cool stanzas instead.

115

Writer? #2

There are no recycled thoughts,

I write as if I knew nothing at all

I write as if I were a newly born

in the art of pouring out words.

All the time am I choosing the words

among that severe emotional storm

like the need of harmony for a conductor

when a masterpiece is being composed.

Perfection is always pursued

but nowhere to be found, it's true.

I've just begun to wander,

though I know I might never succeed.

Flaws are part of the menu,
something I must tackle with.
Spelling mistakes are numerous,
is it time to start something new?

112

Sixth sense

Immediately after closing my eyes

the gloomy scenario turns clear and sound,

yet not everyone is capable of that;

in fact no one really does

no one is as perceptive as you are.

Every word I attempt to utter,

every Summer leaf I'm eager to caress

everything seems to somehow resemble

the shape of your lonely heart,

perhaps your sixth sense had figured that out.

Hardly ever in my lifetime

had I felt this way

in other words, that is to say

to get so intimate so soon

so as to draw myself in the nude.

111

Friends

Peace is forever

love is a tresure,

your voice is a melody

every thought is a feather.

Friends stay together

through the stormy weather,

confiding my secrets

we'll be stronger than leather.

If this is a dream,

never say never

because life with you

is an everlasting pleasure.

110

Well known

I knew every small detail,

all your reactions,

all your sayings.

I knew what you'd do for pleasure,

what you'd do on certain occassions,

especially if you were under pressure.

To be brutally honest,

I knew everything I had to know,

so there was nothing beyond -

not even love.

That's it, I just got bored.

There was no big surprise

after such a long time

for me to go forth

to finally step outside

and that threshold trespass -

rather than simply saying "no more",

instead of with you going on.

108

/eitem/

Because many women still die,

but to the end they fight for their right

sometimes to just remain alive.

Because some women try hard

to fulfulfill their everyday tasks

without even being recognised.

That's why I felt so driven

by the strength of all women,

by their sorority,

by their dignity.

This poem is for you and I.

This gift of mine is today for us,

for us to embrace our souls

on a new March the eighth.

107

Friday

Today it's Friday

it's a brand new day,

it's perfect for starting up

for forgotten projects to be run.

Only one piece of advice

for you to bear in mind:

look for a nearby river,

and let all concern flow there.

What already belongs to the past

in our histories should remain.

What is happen to next

is entirely up to us now.

But never miss this out

unless you may want to give up:

both the opportunity to grow up,

and to leave all negativity behind.

105

Writer?

Writing poems

it's never been my thing;

I'd actually make fun of them -

I mean well known writers

for having mastered such skills.

Who said I'd become one?

I've only written 104 so far,

but who can really tell me,

who can be that sure

so as to call me like that?

102

A veces

A veces las cosas pasan

y no hay vuelta que darle.

A veces las cosas pasan

sin que puedas escaparte.

A veces las cosas pasan

y dan vueltas como torbellinos.

A veces cuando menos lo esperás

estás bailando al borde del abismo.

No soy quién para aconsejar,

nada creo haber aprendido de amor y amoríos,

pero tampoco es tarea fácil dejarme doblegar

por lo que dicta el libre albedrío.

Sin embargo es menester un armisticio

entre razón y sentimientos;

y en ésto mentir no me permito:

yo también hago cosas sin sentido.

A veces las cosas pasan

y bien hacen en darse una vuelta

porque así me doy cuenta

del placer de estar viva, suelta.

96

Flo(we)r

Sailing through the desert,

calling you by your name,

saying hello as I wave my hand

even though I can hardly see your face.

The sky now is clear and blue,

so my perspective pretty much improves,

and I really do hope

you'll be able to see me, too.

91

Artistic block

I've been with this artistic block

since I was 21 years old;

the only thing I know for sure

is that living life was I trying,

that since then did I begin wandering

in order to obtain knowledge,

in order to save some money

for lots of notebooks of poetry filling

with stanzas, with verses

about spiritual life and death,

about my innermost curses.

From beginning to end...

until that day comes

when nothing more will be said

unless there's no expire date,

and I hope it will remain the same.

89

Walk

It's hard to go out for a walk,

especially when cathing a glimpse of our spots.

Everything then goes blurry all around.

The scenery suddenly goes black and white -

turning into a VCR I need to rewind.

Unfinished talks surrounding us

of what we used to hate and love.

Not only did we hope for things to unravel,

but also were there dreaming of travelling,

of our souls finally rediscovering.

Even though that day would never come,

that those events would never happen,

I really expect you get those things done,

I really wish you the best of luck,

and honestly want you to know

you will always remain in my heart.

88

River (pologue)

Will he ever know we're done?

Will he ever know it's been enough?

I long to forget him,

he longs to forgive me

for having run that river dry.

83

Demystifying

No one has become my saviour,
no one will ever do that,
but it is my demeanour
the only way for this to end up.

The only agent or factor here
has turned out to be me
in the past I must've misheard
all the words my heart uttered.

I know I can't fully rely on others,
and now I wouldn't like to be bothered,
though I'm aware there's a huge problem
if I supress people in the name of honour.