263

A short story

I'm done with ending

I dislike pretending

that it's okay

to simply hide my pain

whilst making this way;

I'm not able to do that.

I want to be a little girl

at least once again

just to read our story,

click through pages

in restrospective,

then flash forward

to the chapter

where this never ends

so that we pretend

it's not over yet.

247

Science

Developing a customised theoretical framework

for such a simple yet emotional glimpse,

making carefully selected observations

in order not to commit further regretful errors.

Conducting and repeating trials -

carrying out experiments just in case.

Gathering meaningful information

your gaze tests emotional strength.

All this to verify my very own predictions,

that I am such a soulful mess.

246

Rainforest

I am plainly soaking wet

no longer may I recognise

the game I should play,

or who I really am,

I am my only making through the day,

as I shed skin and fur,

I become into a different shape.

Even until today

humidity can be smelled

now the Lloró rainforest

having taking place here,

having become an animal, me,

violently do I flap my wings,

yet peacefully do I close my eyes.

Approaching stars, they are shining,

among lightbulbs, beetles

I perceive shades of colours -

turquoise, blue, orange, green;

I notices shades of meaning -

watch, gaze, look, glance, see.

228

State of mind

Freedom is a state of mind

people would oftentimes claim,

now that is entirely debatable,

so who could I trust?

After having waited for so long

I still consider what to work on.

If you allow yourself

to give it a thought,

it is not so far fetched.

I truly miss some shadows

but if they are no reality,

neither is that prison, that anchor.

219

Equilibrium

Equilibrium

between shades of life

has never been so difficult

as it seems right now.

I ought to go on,

but before this, first

breathe in harmony,

breathe out peace of mind.

Rollercoasters

please make them stop;

no more second rides,

stumbling upon the same stone

I yearn to get off

no more may I allow.

217

Threshold

As tresspassing the threshold

dividing me into past and present

a device rings in my pocket;

the voice that whispers tell me,

it implores me to forget about mud,

and get into the forest at once.

My only wish is letting go,

so I do my bet and exhale all sorrow.

I make my great entrance

I make it to the deeo woods,

and, allowing myself to step back

I smell the weed, thus I forget.

The past times seem to have gone,

so I utter "home sweet home"

matter-of-factly, though,

too much drama over nonsense

is up to the present my loyal escort.

200

Nothingness

Sometimes it is nothingness,
sometimes all of it.
Chaos aligning just in time,
rounded stones thrown.
I read the blurry signs
one minute before floating
like rounded bubbles I go up;
yet so afraid of missing this.
I ironically smile,
advising not to be underappreciated
as I let go in complete fear
of exchanging love for red lights.
Which shall it be the result?
At least I can mention
that I am still alive
this moment to witness
among constellations shining.

188

Sunny

The sun carefully placed

upon my bald head

in spite of the inability

feeling like reaching it looks real -

as if it were there

as if its only reason

as if its sole purpose

was to love me

was to provide me

with all of its energy

abundant powerful rays.

No extraordinary ssuperheroe

is able to be spotted here

this is just me, a sunrise lover

tenderly allowing the sun

to wake me up with a caress.

184

Comeback

And then,

all of a sudden,

I decided to return.

The only plan,

the only purpose,

the only target

is to avoid another injury.

So conscious am I

of strengths and limitations,

yet unable to give up.

147

Brand new

Brush up on fresh language,

try not to focus on my body

sunno drift off with the past,

to go slowly you are obliged.

Demolish what is built,

be careful not to touch my shit,

come up and test my speech

you will see not all is real.

Shall we talk at once?

I know sometimes it is hard.

You are invited to lose track

of that dimension bringing you down.

139

Sunday

Sunday afternoons -

they often drive me

to acknoledge existence, to admire feelings,

to connect with myself,

to correct mistakes,

and never again commit them.

I said "often", not "usually",

so don't you worry -

for am I still faulty

and umpolished figures

seem to be the specialty;

those are the herbs and spices

I concentrate on.

137

Cheater

Fearless, thoughtless contributions

presented and expressed

as thoughts and opinions

to be publicly available,

for everyone accesible-

The problem with this

apparently seems to be

the fact of your believing it,

the fact of your believing me -

please, just don't.

I'll tell you a little secret,

I constantly cheat,

I helplessly lie

I know it won't make you smile,

I do what I say, say what i feel like.

134

Appreciation

The only appreciated,

acceptable human being

I could possible be

is that kind

who allows herself to live,

who is always thirsty

of meaningful experiences

carefully treasuring;

the one who, last but not least,

allows herself to set free

no matter whatever

may come out of it.