270

Value

Soft brownish skin

as a child I hated it

meaning my colour

once thought I was worthless,

inferior to other children;

such a dummy girl.

I am so valuable,

loved by my friends

desired by some others

who place their hands

over my tummy

claiming that my tegument

it gently wraps me

that I am such a beauty.

263

A short story

I'm done with ending

I dislike pretending

that it's okay

to simply hide my pain

whilst making this way;

I'm not able to do that.

I want to be a little girl

at least once again

just to read our story,

click through pages

in restrospective,

then flash forward

to the chapter

where this never ends

so that we pretend

it's not over yet.

252

Anniversary

Three years have been

since I began a new lifestyle -

walking around the world

totally make up free.

Of course it soon expired,

yet none of that matters.

It is like dropping a mask,

a time consuming costume at last.

I know people do not really mind.

Trust me on this one,

people their own film star

you are just a cameo in their lives.

250

Influence

disturb my sight with a tiny smile

scan my thoughts with your wisdom

predict my movements each time desire returns

torute my prejudice my black veil

make me love your madness

make me staarve without your mouth

so that by the end of the day

I always come back to your house/heart

so that by the end of the times

my admiration for you escalates

226

Creativity

The creative process

that so much is it involved

when splitting the atom

of pressumptions, paradigms

thus ending with what's established

like a driving force here bursting,

breaking up, regrouping.

Miracles shall I never crave for

what comes will remain

only and insofar as it becomes

utterly unnecessary and touching,

completely arguable for everybody

for me to continue writing

food for thought at last arriving.

217

Threshold

As tresspassing the threshold

dividing me into past and present

a device rings in my pocket;

the voice that whispers tell me,

it implores me to forget about mud,

and get into the forest at once.

My only wish is letting go,

so I do my bet and exhale all sorrow.

I make my great entrance

I make it to the deeo woods,

and, allowing myself to step back

I smell the weed, thus I forget.

The past times seem to have gone,

so I utter "home sweet home"

matter-of-factly, though,

too much drama over nonsense

is up to the present my loyal escort.

211

Rainy Saturday night

I finally fet off the bus

that it's raining I realise;

but to be honest I don't mind.

"Changes", by A$AP Rocky,

the track being played;

I've noticed these differences,

both internally and externally

evident, not hiding at all -

I assume what it's going on,

to wear a mask I say "no more",

cold water do I contemplate

I smile at raindrops,

my mouth immediately opens,

my tongue eager to participate -

I want to drink the whole cloud

soaking wet, dunno hesitate

this precious, fresh nectar

I urgently need to taste.

209

Take a look

Sunshine

first thing in the morning

catch a glimpse of the sunlight

rays not entering yet.

Body

first thing in my bed

catch a glimpse of my body shape

my skin still there, invisible.

Take a look ar myself in the mirror

take a look at my body after August

take a look at this envelope

had to take a selfie

I had been exaggerating

got the wrong picture in Winter

for am I so beautiful.

208

Eight five

Now it is wight five
the day almost over
on my way home I am
and it is with a wide smile
that I claim to be sober.

Making an effort
not to evade, omit
is such a hard task
for this soul of mine
for me to succeed in.

198

Maintenance

The daily maintenance,

this temple keeping up

with a healthy lifestyle

in order to prevent myself

from making more mistakes

in order to forgive myself

for the inflicted damage.

In no sense whatsoever

does this have to do with pride,

or fake smiles back,

but with accepting, correcting

who matter of factly I am,

on deeper levels I wish to connect,

to foster meaning relations

so as to grow up.

197

Steady

No steady path to follow,

yet I  find it easy

to follow you footsteps

we're covered in mud, I know,

and the path path turns blurry.

Mud turns into quicksand,

will we this hindrance overcome?

I'm all for it, let's give it a try,

I'm all for us.

Let's save ourselves

before concrete we become,

for is it a way better idea

than in a lime kiln getting burnt.

188

Sunny

The sun carefully placed

upon my bald head

in spite of the inability

feeling like reaching it looks real -

as if it were there

as if its only reason

as if its sole purpose

was to love me

was to provide me

with all of its energy

abundant powerful rays.

No extraordinary ssuperheroe

is able to be spotted here

this is just me, a sunrise lover

tenderly allowing the sun

to wake me up with a caress.

184

Comeback

And then,

all of a sudden,

I decided to return.

The only plan,

the only purpose,

the only target

is to avoid another injury.

So conscious am I

of strengths and limitations,

yet unable to give up.

181

Digitally

Your digital creepy voice

begiing some attention,

craving desperately for love

without a clear notion

of where to go

or how to make it stop.

The, I shut this down,

I forget about this stuff,

the intangible, for a while -

I begin to stretch out,

since no matter how hard I try

you are not around now.

I focus on the steps,

for I need my whole strength

on the tempo of the waltz;

on polishing my fifth,

the demi pliés, the soufflés -

I remind myself of the grace

when performing a relevé.

180

Okra

That flower not in bloom yet

and it is already in big trouble.

I might be wrong, I know,

but joining dots gets the elders nervous.

No one am I telling,

the huge compromise

of the third in question.

Upsetting who? Apprising what?

Oh please, better not chat.

Contradictory enough

feels alive by her side,

yet at the same time

isolation is the rule right now.

173

Engine working

The use of rhyme

or the lack of it

may help you identify

the way I am feeling

at present time.

|

|

Can't you be more beautiful?

Can't my iris have some rest?

Every time your feet you move

a powerful earthqueake take place.

More and more do I need from you,
I urge to witness everything you do.
I am that quiet observer there,
the one you do not even notice.

If only you stopped acting nice,
if only you stopped making jokes,
I guess I cannot take it anymore
you drive me insane, love.

Sorry, I know it sounds strange,
you may not have realised yet
I am not supposed to like a girl,
you are making me question it again.

165

Pale complexion

He had a pale complexion,

as he resembled full moon -

paperlike whiteness, though fragile.

Everywhen we met up

soon after that early preview

we dated three days

carefully glancing at each other

we could then notice

a small fire being lightened.

How was I supposed

to forget those headphones,

that strong parfum

in which I foresaw

our future vaticinated?

This sounds a bit unscrambled.

However, it is the sequence of events,

the events I describe;

the lack of order,

the abundance of desire,

how we began liking,

how we began learning

every day from each other.

164

Foggy

Though that foggy dirty little glass

do I take notice of your peeping.

As I wander around the forest

don't you dare to come over;

you just stare still and wonder

when you'll get the perfect chance

to catch a glimpse of my naked body.

Hey, but you need not worry;

babe, you already got me.

No one makes me feel like you,

is it all day you what I yearn to do.

There's no moment matter of factly

I stop imagining you scent in the morning,

the colour, the texture of your touching me,

how I would shiver were our hands

at last happen to meet up.

So don't you miss the chance,

though it feels flatered to be observed,

I'd like to go a bit forward.

step out of the window now.

Come out and join me today,

let's explore unknown lands

together, hand in hand.

158

Self portrait

I lock the door for a minute

I stare at myself in the mirror

I don't recognise that person

standing in front of me

for this particular reason.

I recognise lots of changes

as if I hadn't seen myself for ages,

yet it's not something negative.

I'm very fond of my body shape

for of my inside it's a silent witness.

This gaze in the morning

was a kind of rediscovery

to spot strengthened branches

to acknowledge this vehicle

that I will always carry.

153

Compromise

What I love about us

is that there is no "us",

that we can move back and forth

without any belief or disbelief,

without any trust or distrust;

with no strings attached,

with no clear target

to be actually achieved.