Showing posts with label psyche. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psyche. Show all posts

Monday, 1 July 2019

270

Value

Soft brownish skin
as a child I hated it
meaning my colour
once thought I was worthless,
inferior to other children;
such a dummy girl.
I am so valuable,
loved by my friends
desired by some others
who place their hands
over my tummy
claiming that my tegument
it gently wraps me
that I am such a beauty.

263

A short story

I'm done with ending
I dislike pretending
that it's okay
to simply hide my pain
whilst making this way;
I'm not able to do that.

I want to be a little girl
at least once again
just to read our story,
click through pages
in restrospective,
then flash forward
to the chapter
where this never ends
so that we pretend
it's not over yet.

Friday, 1 March 2019

241

Repetition II

I write
I write because I can’t lie;
I can’t lie
I can’t lie because I can’t find
a way of living
a way of not hesitating
a way of breathing
a way of coping with everything
a way of feeling without grabbing.

Monday, 4 February 2019

228

State of mind

Freedom is a state of mind
people would oftentimes claim,
now that is entirely debatable,
so who could I trust?
After having waited for so long
I still consider what to work on.

If you allow yourself
to give it a thought,
it is not so far fetched.
I truly miss some shadows
but if they are no reality,
neither is that prison, that anchor.

225

Routine

I do not know
what to say exactly
but something is for sure
I am full of uncertainty.
Anguish is everyday here,
a clear reminiscence of the past.
I just go to bed,
I just go to sleep,
I just go to work,
all this totally inanimate.
I meet my duties,
yet unable to find peace of mind.
Routine is killing me,
thoughts slaughtering me,
this time maybe silence
may become an opportunity
in order to grow up.

219

Equilibrium

Equilibrium
between shades of life
has never been so difficult
as it seems right now.
I ought to go on,
but before this, first
breathe in harmony,
breathe out peace of mind.

Rollercoasters
please make them stop;
no more second rides,
stumbling upon the same stone
I yearn to get off
no more may I allow.

215

Unclear

Every minute, hour; day in, day out -
another grain salt settles to the salt flat.
Accumulated desire should not be left out.
All I crave is us holding hands
as we gaze at the spark in our eyes.

My insight, focus, not ambitious
barely do present days motivate me,
spinning on your orbit, my only mission
my fingerprintes upon your white sandy dunes -
a blurry future, both figures scarcely foreseen.

Neither do I expect to help you,
no do I expect you to help me.
I only want us to share our lives for a while,
I only want us to share the same space and time.
Let's get together for as long as we can.

214

Permitido

La vida onírica
que me otorga permitidos
el estridente silencio
se apodera de esta sala
hasta que de repente percibo
tensión, color, represión
flujo y reflujo de deseo
que toma de rehén al presente
esta bocanada del pasado,
como si de pronto hubiese
razones para ser y estar
todo y nada a tu lado.

Wednesday, 30 January 2019

208

Eight five

Now it is wight five
the day almost over
on my way home I am
and it is with a wide smile
that I claim to be sober.

Making an effort
not to evade, omit
is such a hard task
for this soul of mine
for me to succeed in.


207

Line

Walking the fine line
between what is right
and what seems to be wrong,
lack of stability
when everything is moving
as though it were magical,
your appearance is magnificent -
little sparkling bulbs,
everything fine.
Blood pressure,
body temperature,
all but real life.

Thursday, 10 January 2019

182

Compass

From time to time
the evidence seems to indicate
everything is fine
everything is fun and games,
indeed are we cooled down.

Irrespectfully for others, though,
one another are we smiling,
yet damned reality bites
it is no man's land;
where is the compass?

Friday, 4 January 2019

175

Mephistopheles II

How can such perfection
be successfully achieved
without contrasting colours?
I need that knowledge,
I need to know it all
for I've tried on my own,
yet nothing cool came out of it.

It has always been here
it has always been inside me
I am giving further information.
It is like distinct music notes
representing a multiversal soul;
like shades and shadows,
wild paintbrushes on a white wall.

170

Blurry Hollogram

What kind of blurry hollogram
have I become recently?
Quite vaguely can I describe
why I feel so contradictory.

What am I now certain to solve
is the physical change going on;
this kind of manifesto
of my utter, true intentions.

Not anymore am I sure
of what I really want,
and to be brutally honest
no other choice have I got.

Maybe the glass is half empty,
maybe all I see is negativity.
What concerns me most
is, however, happen to hurt them all.

To  all the people I know,
to the nearest and dearest
to this puzzled heart of mine.
Peace of mind, please here land.

169

Distant Monday

Throughout a distant Monday
the main topic arises,
the topic seems to have appeared -
the question of self love
of self sufficiency
all about being needy;
all about amends making.

Barely may I recognise
from a relatively short distance
the flute of the future,
and needless to say,
may I look back to the flame
of the recent past gates.

I self diagnose vertigo,
every second a heavy stone
a bit more must I push forward.
Where is the axis
for a peaceful existence?

Every time I firmly claim
to have come up with a clear notion,
or a steady Bible to follow
an even fiercer storm
is just around the corner.

So sudden the angst,
a scorch does my skin perceive.
A freezing cold breeze
my hair so abruptly ruffles,
and it turns into resistan fur,
it allows Darwin, consequently,
to boast about his theory.

Although the psychic hurricane
has pulverised all strength,
has weakened all possibilities
of once again rebuilding
or even about me caring
I am still working hard,
for either me or anyone
who might want to come around.

Naked do I hug myself,
indefensively do I touch myself,
checking if there is no missing part,
checking if I am a survivor
of this unequal battle.

167

Experience

You are still you
unless you lose yourself
and begin living
under your own rules,
when not caring any longer,
only in other people's skin
when it is necessary.

Thursday, 3 January 2019

163

Nymphs

I break the laws of gravity
Geronimo can't jump now,
and as Newton astonishingly watches
I meet those beautiful nymphs,
they take me, we fly to their house.

They are harmonically singing,
I like where this is going.
I'm eating their tunes out.
Now they so loudly laugh,
they so romantically moan.

Quite abruptly, though, then
the alarm clock yells.

156

Hollogram

A blurry hollogram
an imagine that is not,
and although I approach
it seems impossible to go on.

So, all this having been said,
what is real would I rather get
even when it is a scarce rain.
In the end it might be palpable
to every single sense.

Unfortunately though,
that is not enough
for must I abort that mission,
unless it remains some lust
in order for us to connect,
otherwise the effort shall be in vain

Consequently do I remain in limbo,
exactly the place I was before.
Like this, only like this
I keep truthful to my soul.

Wednesday, 2 January 2019

147

Brand new

Brush up on fresh language,
try not to focus on my body
sunno drift off with the past,
to go slowly you are obliged.

Demolish what is built,
be careful not to touch my shit,
come up and test my speech
you will see not all is real.

Shall we talk at once?
I know sometimes it is hard.
You are invited to lose track
of that dimension bringing you down.

Sunday, 30 December 2018

139

Sunday

Sunday afternoons -
they often drive me
to acknoledge existence, to admire feelings,
to connect with myself,
to correct mistakes,
and never again commit them.

I said "often", not "usually",
so don't you worry -
for am I still faulty
and umpolished figures
seem to be the specialty;
those are the herbs and spices
I concentrate on.

Saturday, 29 December 2018

134

Appreciation

The only appreciated,
acceptable human being
I could possible be
is that kind
who allows herself to live,
who is always thirsty
of meaningful experiences
carefully treasuring;
the one who, last but not least,
allows herself to set free
no matter whatever
may come out of it.