158

Self portrait

I lock the door for a minute

I stare at myself in the mirror

I don't recognise that person

standing in front of me

for this particular reason.

I recognise lots of changes

as if I hadn't seen myself for ages,

yet it's not something negative.

I'm very fond of my body shape

for of my inside it's a silent witness.

This gaze in the morning

was a kind of rediscovery

to spot strengthened branches

to acknowledge this vehicle

that I will always carry.

157

Do's and dont's

No one has ever taught me

the do's and dont's here

of bloody poem writing.

I just gather knowledge,

vocabulary and grammar concepts,

adding rhythm and rhyme

only when possible;

and, above anything

I let myself float

on the river of feeling

the stream becoming the driver

up to the wisdom sea.

156

Hollogram

A blurry hollogram

an imagine that is not,

and although I approach

it seems impossible to go on.

So, all this having been said,

what is real would I rather get

even when it is a scarce rain.

In the end it might be palpable

to every single sense.

Unfortunately though,

that is not enough

for must I abort that mission,

unless it remains some lust

in order for us to connect,

otherwise the effort shall be in vain

Consequently do I remain in limbo,

exactly the place I was before.

Like this, only like this

I keep truthful to my soul.

155

Jim Jarmusch

Chatting about Jim Jarmusch

straight after having sex,

that doesn't happen regularly,

yet I would take it for granted.

However am I willing to repeat

a very similar experience

if I ever happen to encounter

with a similar creature

down in this sea of ignorance,

of panic, of shallowness.

154

Sobriety

I am growing older -

never implying I am wiser,

but hardly ever have I returned

to my previous state.

I am still remaining sober -

I have been working on that

since my last time at the bar

the night I got so drunk.

Little by little, step by step

I have come to realise

in alcohol there is neither fun

nor words to speak my mind.

I respect it may work for some,

it is the muse of their work,

yet for my starter writing

it has only stand for as an obstacle.

I would rather stop doing that
than get its weak inspiration
for dying from inanition
appear to be sensitive idea.

Nowadays I feel alive
consuption was not the real me -
for am I the bag of contradictions
only working without substances.

Just me and my old pencil.

153

Compromise

What I love about us

is that there is no "us",

that we can move back and forth

without any belief or disbelief,

without any trust or distrust;

with no strings attached,

with no clear target

to be actually achieved.

151

Stormy

There's a severe storm

it has not stopped,

not since five o'clock.

That was in the morning,

but still, I'm soaking wet,

I'm now wearing red

as if bright colours

were to put an end

to this eternal cry

which is happening,

which is going on right now.

I think I'll move forward,

intending to finally forget

what is lying behind.

150

Cloudy II

Motivation tends to decrease,

the affective filter is raised

after getting up every day

to realise that at least here

the Sun has not come out yet.

Thirteen days and counting,

we seem to be slowly dying,

leave each day fall

having grown sick and tired

of this fake autumn.

149

Cloudy I

How many days

can humans survive

without seeing the sun

come out to say hi?

I actually miss it

I miss watching a sunset,

I miss its dry hug

before early nights arrive.

It's somehow depressing

when you're aware it's there,

yet you won't get the chance

to gaze at its bright colours today.

148

Self lovely-like

Imperfection is perfectly achieved

only and insofar as I prove myself

absolutely capable of dissolving

the very same old roots;

completely capable of evolving

into the one I always wished to be;

fully capable of resolving

all those matters relying

both before and beneath me.

I believe that actually is,

in my humble opinion, 

how self love ought to be.

147

Brand new

Brush up on fresh language,

try not to focus on my body

sunno drift off with the past,

to go slowly you are obliged.

Demolish what is built,

be careful not to touch my shit,

come up and test my speech

you will see not all is real.

Shall we talk at once?

I know sometimes it is hard.

You are invited to lose track

of that dimension bringing you down.

146

Disruptive

How far are you willing to go on?

How long trying to run off?

Nothing, in fact, changes at all

unless you stop feeling drown

with each of you teardrops.

Stop acting like a victim,

martyrs are not popular;

why not investing energy and time,

and master that ability instead

of finally moving forward?

145

Perpendicular

Perpendicular lines in our minds

make each other's appreciation hard,

our relationship so distant.

Nonetheless, this is my opinion

you should definitely approach;

come, kiss my holy spots.